Flavor #2 - Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

Raise money for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure - Robert Burke, Sarasota FL

In memory of Lois May Shearer
December 12, 1919 - May 21, 2001





Lori and I had both decided to walk the Komen for the Cure. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to turn things into "events", so I had suggested that we have a slumber party and travel together in the morning. Lori and I didn't often hang out, but we ran in the same church circle, so I knew a few things about her:

I knew she was a law student
I knew that she had a great sense of humor
I knew that she had an affection for Disney
I also knew that her mother had lost her life to kidney cancer.

Lori's studio apartment was colorful and charming; much more successful than my clumsy attempt at decorating. One of the first things I noticed was collection of pictures on her wall, especially a portrait hanging in the center: Lori's mother. She could have been Lori's twin; same eyes, same smile, and as Lori pointed out, same forehead. Lori was serving an LDS mission in Africa when her mother passed. When she returned home, many relatives and close friends often expressed, most with tears in their eyes, how much she looked like her. I wondered if Lori ever felt some of that same sadness when she looked in the mirror and saw those pieces of her mother staring back.

The evening was casual and comfortable. We helped ourselves to a dose of Project Runway and Soft-Serve from the McDonald's around the corner, before bedding down for the night. As I drifted off to sleep on Lori's couch, I flashed on the pictures of my grandma that my dad had recently emailed me for my donation web-site. I smiled as I recalled how much he too had pieces of my grandmother in him.

The next morning came early. Lori and I got ready in less than twenty minutes and were out the door by 7:oo. It was a crisp and clear day; perfect for walking. On the bus, everyone was quietly settling into the morning. We coasted from stop to stop, picking up several passengers wearing our same t-shirts. Lori and I munched on our Powerbar breakfasts and gazed out the window. As we neared Grant Park, we noticed several hundred more of the same white tees walking south on Michigan Avenue. Knowing smiles flashed around the bus. We were all headed to the same place.

The scene at Grant park could have been a county fair...but PINKER! A Bandshell near the entrance blared an upbeat tune as thousands of participants milled around the sponsor tents. Lori played my guide. We weaved through the crowds of people to a table at the opposite corner of the field. There I filled out a pink "In Memory of" sign to pin on my back. Moments later a familiar Melissa Etheridge song signaled the start of the "Parade of Pink." A crowd gathered around the bandshell as women of various ages, wearing pink t-shirts, climbed the risers in front of the stage. The audience cheered as the announcer introduced the survivors ranging from 6 months to 20 years and more. Then as the music swelled, these beautiful women raised their hands and waved in unison to the chorus:

"I run for hope, I run to feel
I run for the truth,
For all that is real
I run for your mother,
your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend,
I run for life."

Hands shot up all over the crowd, and for a moment, all of us waved to the music together. Overwhelming admiration coursed through me as I gazed at these brave women, some without a strand of hair, smiling and cheering us just as loudly as we cheered them. I was surprised to see how young many of them were. Then it hit me that my grandma was actually younger than me the first time she was diagnosed. I turned to Lori who I could see was just as emotional as me. I gave her a quick squeeze. As we both wiped the tears from our eyes, she said, "C'mon, let's go get some free stuff."

Turns out that Lori and I didn't need that Powerbar. Even if there hadn't been least 100 crates of fruit in the middle of the field, the Yoplait and Sara Lee portions would have satisfied. We travelled from tent to tent collecting all sorts of free samples from chapstick to bandanas, stowing everything in the pink back packs we received. Was all of the free stuff necessary? No. Was it an added bonus? Yes!

It wasn't long before it was time to line up. The walk was a sight to see. People were decked out in everything from pink boas to pink hair. A radio announcer greeted us at the starting line, calling out the names of each team as they passed. The teams were made up of a variety of colors and...colorful names, my personal favorites being, "Save My Jugs" and "Team for Tattas".

We followed the steady stream of color, north on Michigan Ave where a portion of the street had been blocked off. A satisfied grin spread across my face. I always feel a little rebellious walking down the middle of the street. My eyes darted back and forth at the variety of participants. There was a man holding his wife's hand, sporting a t-shirt that boasted, "Real Men Wear Pink!" A young girl in front of me had a tag that read, "I walk in Celebration of My Mom," and the tag of the girl walking with her read, "I walk in Celebration of Jodi's mom." Several participants who were either too young or too elderly to walk, were being pushed in strollers and wheelchairs by their loved-ones. I was surrounded by thousands of people walking in honor of someone that had been affected by this disease.

So why was I walking? Was it because I wanted to feel good about myself? Was it because of my 31 quota? Was I trying to prove something? To others? To myself?

The sign on my back said, "I walk in memory of Grandma Lois May," but what did that truly mean?

The walk turned east on Balbo and continued north on Columbus down into the darkened lower levels of Randolph. Lori and I chatted about life, about family and memories of what used to be. She told me that she walked the Susan G. Komen because although there isn't a walk for Kidney Cancer, she would like to make a difference. I must admit, that part of me felt a little like a poser. You see, I'm not one of those people who is always striving to make the world a better place. Sure, I give up my seat on the train from time to time, but a lot of my daily focus is spent on....well...me. Not that I don't care about others, and not that I don't care about this cause. But I suppose I felt that my reasons for walking were a little selfish.

You see, my grandmother didn't always get back all of the love that she gave me. There were many times I could have called, or visited, but was too caught up in my own life. In focusing on myself I feel like I missed out on the years I could have really gotten to know her, and I'm sad about that.

So, I guess I walked to tell her that I haven't forgotten her. I walked to say that I'm sorry she had to leave sooner than she wanted to. I walked to tell her that I miss her; the moments we shared and the moments that we should have shared. To put it simply, I walked to tell her that I love her.

As Lori and I crossed the finish line, the emotional and physical exhaustion showed in our faces. I smiled at this quirky blonde with newfound affection. The walk was only a little over an hour, and yet I feel like I know so much more about her:

I know she loves the sunshine
I know she looks great in pink!
I know she is excited to find someone who will make her birthday happy again
I know that she has to put on strength and optimism everyday to survive in a world without her mother.
I gazed at all of the tired but hopeful smiles surrounding us. In a way I suppose we're all survivors trying to cope with the trials life has handed us. That day, we coped by uniting in a walk of hope; the hope that one more woman will get a needed mammogram, that one less family will be left without a mother or grandmother, that each dollar raised brings us closer to a cure.

Some say it's not realistic to hope for a cure, some say it isn't about a cure, but about people living better, longer, even with an unmerciful disease. For me it was about love, and I hope that love can somehow make a difference.


*This blog entry, I feel very blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. I raised far beyond my goal of $1,212 and I would like to thank the people below for their overwelming generosity. I couldn't have done it without you!

Robert Burke
Joy Crenshaw
Edward Gloor
Robert Graczyk
Pepi Hooczko
Betty Lindsey
Kate McFerrin
Robert McGuire
Jon Moran
Blair Robertson
Heather Rucci
Dale and Linda Shearer
Lindsey Shearer
Noah Watkins
North Shore 3rd Singles

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Flavor #1 - Take time to go down to the lake shore.

"Take the time to go down to the lake shore. Breathe in, close your eyes. Feel the air. Then take a minute to write down all of your blessings" Tiffany Fortna, Chicago IL

After a quick photo of my colorful cone and the transfer of the other cone to a very obliging ten-year-old, I started my trek to the lake.

It was a beautiful day! The sun was out, the humidity was low, and the cool breeze was saturated with the smell of flower blossoms. I breathed in deeply and scanned the scene around me. The neighborhood was alive with people taking advantage this rare and rainless day. I was charmed by several elated and over-stimulated dogs dragging their owners behind them. A few kids...and adults stole envious glances at my cone. The ice cream was already starting to melt, and my tongue was kept busy ensuring it didn't spill overboard.

Now, there are some food/flavor combinations that defy all rationale. French fries dipped in a Wendy's Frosty: one of the best combinations ever! Of course, there are a few who have disagreed with me, but I've met plenty more who share my Wendy's whim. Why does a fried potato taste good with chocolate dairy? I couldn't tell you. It just seems there are several flavors that for one reason or another are destined to form a long and lasting relationship.

Mint Chip and Tropical Ice do not fall into this category.

As my tongue skimmed over these polar opposites, it recoiled in confusion and disgust. Any positive qualities seemed to cancel each other out immediately. It became very clear to me that some flavors, like people, should never ever be more than friends. Still, I felt it was my duty to lick on. It occurred to me that all of my favorite flavors were on top and all I had to look forward to were the less-interesting, more vanilla (Pun intended) flavors.

As I pondered this sad realization, I passed a woman helping another woman in a wheelchair. I had already passed two other people in wheelchairs within the last couple blocks. I couldn't decide if this was unusual in my neighborhood, or if maybe I was just a little more aware today. I had found out the day before that my childhood friend had passed away after a long battle with Muscular Dystrophy. For a moment I turned inward. It hit me how many things I take for granted on a daily basis. I think that oftentimes we feel entitled to have things go our way. Case in point; my birthday. I was outraged that I had to walk in the rain on the day of my birth! It didn't occur to me to be grateful for the fact that I could walk, or that I had lived to my 31st birthday.

I need to constantly remind myself that life is a gift. All the other stuff that I feel I "deserve" is just the sprinkles on top. Even my ice cream cone, silly as it was, was a luxury.

I looked down. My "luxury" was now a non-appetizing grayish color, and tragically, we had achieved soggy-bottom status. Cone maintenance was now a full time job. Just a block from the lake, I quickened my pace a little.

I love being close to Lake Michigan. It grounds me. Being from the west, I often miss the mountains and outdoorsy things that used to be so accessible, like hiking and camping. I picked a grassy spot with a cluster of trees standing watch overhead. With one last mushy bite, the

cone was gone...thank goodness. After cleaning the sticky sweet off of my fingers, mouth, and a little off the tip of my nose, I closed my eyes.

The breeze brushed my face and combed through my hair. On my stomach I could feel the grass prick the tops of my feet and the earth's dampness latch onto my clothes. I felt rooted into the ground, and for a moment, apart of these creations so much older than I. I realized that it had been sometime since I had been out here. This free dose of serenity was 5 blocks from my house, and yet rarely did I find the time to fit it into my schedule. How many times do ruts like that prevent us from taking advantage of what's around us? We try the same flavors over and over again because we've found what we're most comfortable with. A new experience could disappoint, or require more effort than our daily humdrum.

That's why I chose Tiffany's suggestion as my first flavor. It's pretty much the point of this whole 31 Flavors idea. To continually take notice of life, to be grateful for all the opportunities life has to offer and to let fewer of them pass me by. When life seems gray and unappealing, to look closer and recognize the bitter and sweet that make up this adventure. Yes, some of those experiences will leave a bad taste in my mouth, but I could also fall in love with something I never expected. More and more I get the feeling that it's worth the risk.

Mint Chip and Tropical Ice; atrocious. But guess what? Mango and Chocolate; pretty amazing.

*I hope Tiffany doesn't mind if I tweak her suggestion a bit and choose to name a different blessing, each blog entry. Today, I am grateful I was able to be apart of Amy Wilde's life. She handled her burden with humor and grace, and through being her friend, I learned so much about compassion and courage. Though we lost touch over the years, I will miss her greatly.

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Sprinkle #1 - 15 Flavors

Try all 31 flavors at a Baskin Robbins on one cone - James Lloyd, Pocatello ID

At first this idea seemed a little silly to me...clever, but silly. Even if I could actually convince some poor employee to humor me, could I really fit that many flavors onto one cone?

Gratefully the Chicago weather was behaving itself so it was the perfect day for ice cream. With a smirk and a shake of my head, I set out to attain perhaps the unattainable. My Baskin Robbins of choice was one that I pass every day on the way to work, the one that inspired this whole 31 craziness in the first place. I had never stepped foot inside, and truthfully until now my impression of the place consisted of booted cars and the suspicious loitering phenomenon on the corner.

I ignored the Dunkin Doughnuts division and headed directly to the freezer to check out the selection. To my surprise and confusion, this 31 Flavors DID NOT HAVE 31 FLAVORS!?! Instead there were about 20 flavors, which my nut allergy narrowed even more. Am I the only one surprised by this? Well, after picking up the pieces of my childhood naivete, I concluded that 15 flavors would have to do.

Now came the hardest part, actually getting one of the employees to play along. A shy and slightly English-challenged employee approached me. When I didn't just point at a flavor, he suggested I talk to his co-worker. I think he could tell that doughnut holes and Bismarks would be less complicated than dealing with me. A sweet elderly woman took his place, but within seconds of my prepared speech, had the same reaction. I was beginning to doubt my ability to pull this off, when "Eva" came to my rescue. In the most professional tone I could muster, I explained my mission. To my relief, Eva nodded in understanding. She started filling a large waffle cone with the flavors I selected, however she was adamant about using the full kiddie scoop and by "kiddie scoop" six, the cone was overflowing. My hope started to fade. Eva didn't seem to fully grasp the delicacy of the situation.

No, you don't understand, I'm a quirky thirty-one-year-old, doing a silly project and in order for it to be symbolic and super cool, I need ALL of the flavors on 1 cone!

I was in the middle of stating the above in a less crazy way, when her manager came up. My speech took on another layer of desperation. I heard myself say something about being a professional writer who needed this for a special project. I may or may not have said that it would be read by thousands... Maybe he actually believed me, or didn't really care, but after agreeing to pay whatever he felt like charging me, he nodded to Eva. Eva began again, this time scooping about a tablespoon of each of the following flavors:

1. Gold Medal Ribbon
2. World Class Chocolate
3. Orange Sherbet
4. Mint Chocolate Chip
5. French Vanilla
6. Chocolate Almond
7. Vanilla
8. Rocky Road
9. Mango Tango
10. Chocolate Chip
11. World Class Chocolate
12. Tropical Ice
13. Chocolate
14. Pistachio
15. Cookie Dough

As Eva scooped the last mini scoop I couldn't help but giggle a bit. I was pretty amused by this point, and looking up I was touched to see that her smile mirrored my own.

After thanking Eva one last time, I juggled my two very full and melting cones out the door. I had completed my first mission! As silly as it may seem, I felt a deep sense of accomplishment and optimism about the months ahead.

$12.64 (About 84 cents per scoop) seemed a small price to pay for such satisfaction.

Flavor #2 - Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

Raise money for The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure - Robert Burke, Sarasota FL

One of the 31 Flavors is especially meaningful to me. On September 26th, I will join thousands of other Chicagoans in the fight against breast cancer by walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.

My grandmother was first diagnosed with breast cancer in her late 20s. She was in remission for more than 40 years until its aggressive return which claimed her life. She was a kind, giving and talented woman. Mother to 4 boys, and grandmother to 28 grandchildren, family get-togethers at her house were busy and wonderful! I have lovely memories of pumpkin (squash) pies, costume fittings and sing-alongs around the piano. Though our time together was cut short, I am so grateful to have known this amazing woman.

Her birthday was on December 12th, so I am hoping to raise $1,212 in her name. If you would like to donate, please follow the link below:

http://komenchicagoraceforthecure.kintera.org/grandmaloismay?faf=1&e=2697485826

Any amount gets us closer to a cure.

Thank you all for your friendship and love! This is going to be a year to remember!

Love,

Kelsey

The List

Overall I received more than 120 suggestions from family and friends--ideas ranging from exploring the jungles of Africa to sending a message in a bottle. I am tickled and honored by the thoughtfulness that went into these ideas, and I wish that I had the time and the means to include all of them...well, almost all of them. :)

One conflict I had while forming this list was whether to include 6 very literal takes on the 31 theme like, "Try all 31 flavors on one cone." After a little debate I conceded that they were just too delicious to pass up, so I added the 6 to my already very flavorful assortment...as sort of the sprinkles on top.

For the 31, I tried to compile a list that would challenge me to experience life from a variety of angles. Eventually I settled on 27 ideas that varied from simple to complex, steap to cheap, silly to profound. I left 4 spots open for any stirring suggestions I get along the way.

So here they are, in no particular order. Though I must admit that some of the list has me a tad nervy, I am excited to embark on this journey of self-exploration!

The Flavors

1. Go down to the lakeshore and write down all of your blessings - TiffanyFortna,Chicago IL
2. Perform at an open mic night - Amy Dunlap, Chicago IL
3. Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure - Bob Burke, Sarasota FL
4. Zip-lining - Me
5. Learn to quilt - Teria Brooking, Ogden UT
6. Go to a city meeting on a political issue - Amy Jensen, Suffolk County, NY
7. Write a children's story or song - Linda Shearer, Idaho Falls ID
8. Indulge yourself in a wildly extravagant meal - Philip Zinn, Western Colorado, CO
9. Audition in New York - Dana Atkins, Pocatello ID
10. Organize a service project for a pediatric ward - Linda Shearer, Idaho Falls ID
11. Learn to play Golf - Bob McGuire, Oswego IL
12. Build a piece of furniture with your dad - Dale Shearer, Idaho Falls ID
13. Start one day at 4 am on purpose - Catherine Ramirez, Houston TX
14. Visit Amish Country - Dave Coffman, Idaho Falls ID
15. Learn a skill at the Actor's Gym - Blair Robertson, Chicago IL
16. Take a helicopter ride - Jon Moran - Elmhurst IL
17. Crochet an afghan - Deanna Rasmussen, Ogden UT
18. Read a book that pertains to our family - Linda Shearer, Idaho Falls ID
19. Learn to play the Ukalele - Me
20. Take a pole-dancing class - Jason and Elizabeth Hopkins - Chicago IL
21. Collaborate with me on a song - Lindsey Lloyd, Pocatello ID
22. Learn German and visit Germany - Me
23. Take an art class - Linda Shearer, Idaho Falls ID
24. Fly a kite as an adult - Janie Wallace, NYC
25. Visit a prison - Neal Schmidt, Chicago IL
26. Go through the Temple with your family - Brett Shearer, Inland Empire CA
27. Use only one hand for an entire day - Joy Crenshaw, Chicago IL
28. Start a blog - Me
29. Attend the Oprah Show - Kristine
30. 
    

The Sprinkles

1. Try 31 Flavors on 1 cone - James Lloyd, Pocatello ID
2. Pay it back 31 times but keep it your secret - Tracy Callahan, Ogden UT
3. Laugh 31 times in a day and record it - Linda Shearer, Idaho Falls ID
4. On December 31, give 31 dollar bills to 31 individuals less fortunate than you - Jan Hillman, Sacramento CA
5. Write a letter to your offspring to read when they are 31 - Lisa Niedermeyer, NYC
6. Write 31 influential people and thank them - Jan Hillman, Sacramento CA

31 Flavors

I awoke to thunder. Snuggling deeper under the covers, I acknowledged with a stretch how rested I felt. It didn't take me long to realize that I felt that way because I had set my alarm for 7 p.m. instead of a.m, and had only 6 minutes to get ready. I flew out of bed, took a shortened version of a spit bath, and threw on some clothes. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught my reflection. My outfit was clean but very crumpled, and my hair...well, I had moussed it the day before and it was pretty much unsalvageable. So far 31 was not looking very pretty. With a sigh of resignation I reached for my umbrella, only to realize that I had left it at work the day before. Happy birthday to me.
Feeling ugly and awkward I stepped out into the classic Chicago drizzle. As I turned the corner I caught a glimpse of familiar white at the stoplight. Brilliant! If I caught the bus maybe I could avoid getting completely soaked! I broke out in a sprint, arriving at the corner just as the light turned green. Desperately, I waved at the driver and to my relief, he looked straight at me. Encouraged, I timidly stepped out into the street, only to have him roar through the intersection. In fury I stamped my feet like a toddler, and blurted out a very adult phrase. Great, my first word as a thirty-one-year-old was a swear word.
Near tears, I sloshed towards the train. In my mind I began plotting how I would punish the universe for making this the worst birthday ever. Of course, in actuality that meant I would punish everyone around me and especially myself by refusing to find any joy in the rest of the day. I felt my my tantrum transfer from my feet to my entire being, and I gave in willingly. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I didn't care. My regrets, doubts, and anxieties about this birthday rained on me with full force.
Just as self-pity was about to consume me, my delicate inner voice spoke up. It candidly pointed out that realistically, nothing truly tragic had happened to me this morning. All of these supposed catastrophes were figments of my silly, poisoned, perspective. Then, this voice lovingly reminded me that it was I who actually controlled my perspective. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and shook my soggy head. Yes, this would be the worst birthday ever if I didn't grow up and find some humor in this situation.
At that moment, I glanced across the street at a Baskin Robbins
...and smiled.

I would try 31 new things before I turned 32. 31 new flavors for each year of my life.

And then a crazy thing happened. My mind, flooded with negativity only seconds before, began churning with all sorts of possibilities. This year could really be something. This year I could stretch my boundaries and truly grow!
...Now, I cautioned myself, to ensure this year be as newfangled and fabulous as I imagined, a few things were crucial:
1. There needed to be a list. Something on paper that I could commit to.
2. To truly step outside of myself, most of the ideas needed to come from family and friends-perspectives other than my own.
With a grin, I unwound the bun on my head and let the rain tangle in my hair. I felt renewed in some way. I was filled with gratitude...as well as a slight craving for mint chip ice cream.
Suddenly 31 was looking pretty sweet.