Start one day at 4:00 am, on purpose - Catherine Ramirez, Houston TX
4:00 am
I awoke with squinty eyes and a grouchy scowl on my face. My body was NOT done sleeping. I slapped the snooze on my alarm and laid there in the dark. There was no sound but the birds chirping outside and a few voices of those who were either leaving for work or just coming home from the bar.
This was not natural.
I awkwardly propped myself up, held the position for a few seconds, then with a groan, flopped back into my pillow. Flashbacks of delivering newspapers on Sunday mornings, in the dead of the Idaho winter, darted through my mind. It had taken me years to forgive my parents for putting me through that torture, and several more to retrain my body to sleep in on Sundays, so why was I doing this to myself on purpose? I took a large breath, mustered all of my will, and tried again. My back clung to the mattress in defiance, but somehow I managed to roll out of bed onto my feet. I knew from several recent spit baths that if I laid there any longer, I would fall back asleep.
4:20 - 5:00 am
The house itself seemed to still be asleep; not even my roommate's cat was up. I splashed cold water on my face and slipped back into my room, acknowledging the day with a flip of the light. With all of this extra time, I figured I better start the day off right. With a sigh, I tumbled to my knees and thanked God, as I've done so many times this year, for my 31 Flavors and the opportunity to learn so many new and interesting things. After this 30 second formality, I proceeded to the more enthusiastic part where I rattled off the list of needs and wants. Spiritual quota done for the day, I was about to jump to my feet, when it occurred to me that it was four in the morning and there wasn't anything to rush into. And because there was no bus to catch, no job to hurry to, there was certainly no excuse for another generic prayer. Sheepishly, I turned back towards my bed, and once again bowed my head. I don't know how long I sat there, truly reflecting on my life, the people I couldn't imagine being without, the person I was and the person I wanted to be. I opened up my heart and started to fill it with thank yous for the amazing journey that I was apart of and the inspiring people who have supported me along the way. My heart swelled with gratitude until spilled over, flooding into the rest of my body and making me feel more centered and happy than I've felt in a long time.
Prayer and meditation done, I cautiously returned to my bed and propped my pillow against the head board; I figured I should make a rough draft of the day's schedule, otherwise I might be tempted to nap by 9 o'clock. Balancing my notebook on my knees, I scribbled my goals for the 19 hours I had left. The pencil scratching across the paper was almost deafening against the surrounding silence.
5:00 am - 6:00 am
After working on my insides, I felt that needed to do a little maintenance on my outsides as well. Pilates was the exercise of choice because I didn't want to wake my roommates, or the downstairs neighbors. It was odd doing my hundreds and single leg stretches in silence; usually I like to try to make my mind forget that I'm exercising by drowning it in music. This morning, I was forced to listen to my body instead, and continue the inner reflection that I'd been enjoying. As I was lying on my stomach in the swimming pose, my box turtle, Epoch, came out of his hiding place as if to say, "What are you doing up?" My arms and legs stopped their syncopation, and there we sat, face to face, blinking at each other. I smiled and affectionately stroked his neck. My mornings and evenings have been so rushed lately that I had failed to connect with him in quite a while.
6:00 am - 7:30 am
Because I was already being active, I decided to tidy up my room. I'm a pretty neat person, but my 31 Flavors had definitely taken its toll on my living space. Because I had some extra time, I decided to sweep my floor, which turned into sweeping the bathroom floor, then the living room and kitchen floor. The crisp whooshes of the broom and creeks of the floorboards were my only company.
7:30 am - 8:30 am
After cleaning the entire house, I decided a long, leisurely, shower was in order. My typical morning shower is about 10 minutes, just enough time to soap up and rinse off. This time I just let the water rain down on my head, penetrating my skull and drowning any thought of what I needed to accomplish. Reluctantly my inner timer collapsed along with my eyelids, and I just stood there, absorbing the heat. That tranquility lingered as I thoughtfully put myself together: clothes, makeup and all.
8:30 am - 9:30 am
Usually I grab a bowl of sugary cereal at work and gobble it down while juggling the phone, mouse and keyboard. Today I cooked a healthy tofu omelet with squash, broccoli and peppers. There is a certain satisfaction that comes from creating your meal from scratch. I casually chopped all of the vegetables and put them in a skillet; the sizzles and pops were a rare, pleasant, morning sound. Appreciatively I scooped my healthy meal onto a plate, and then did something that I never do: I sat down and ate at the kitchen table.
9:00 am - 10:00 am
I had already accomplished quite a bit, but I actually felt like the day was getting away from me, so I quickly fed Epoch, and gathered all of my things. On the way out the door, I ran into Kristine, my roommate. I was about to throw a quick goodbye over my shoulder, but decided instead, to linger in the hallway for a pleasant conversation. My rushed mornings very rarely consists of complete phrases, so all of this felt very foreign to me.
I took my time walking to the train. I may have even strolled, which confused my inner, city girl, pace. In the station, when I heard the familiar roar of my train arriving, I didn't charge up the stairs to catch it. There would be another train along soon enough.
10:00 am - 11:30 am
I arrived at the library at 10 o'clock on a Saturday. This little fact was nothing out of the ordinary, but the fact that I'd already been up for 6 hours was an amusing thought. All of the practice rooms were already in use. Normally this would annoy me, but today I had time to wait. I sat outside the music center with a content smile on my face. I felt like I had a secret that no one else knew: "Look at me! I am a morning person!" Oddly I felt a sense of importance, like my triumph over early morning hours lumped me in with Pulitzer Prize winners and Olympic Gold Medalists.
I was pleased to get Practice room C; it had by far the best piano. Touching the keys is always a beautiful experience, one that unfortunately doesn't happen as often as I'd like because I don't have a piano at home. I belted out some of the past songs I had written to get me in the creative mood, then moved on to the song that my sister and I are collaborating on. Up until then I'd been trying to imagine the harmonies by plucking notes out on my iMac, but nothing takes the place of a full keyboard. Without the pressure to figure things out quickly, my fingers lovingly explored the black and white playground and let the harmonies unfold naturally.
11:30 am - 1:00 pm
I jumped on the train and took it all the way around the loop, taking time to gaze out the window and revel in the splendor of the buildings around me. I wasn't in a hurry, so when the train stopped, I patiently let others get off before me. Thoughtfully I strolled across the bridge to my office, taking in the view of the river winding down the business district. This may have been the first time I didn't throw worried glances at my watch or look for ways to cheat traffic.
My office was dark and unusually quiet. I left the lights off and basked in the eerie glow of the computer. I located the flash drive I had accidentally left there the day before and churned out two resumes for some upcoming theatre auditions. An inconvenient trip to the office might have bugged me on any other day, but today it was just one more hour, of which I had plenty.
1:00 pm - 4:00 pm
The next few hours seemed to pass by like minutes. I stopped at State Street to soak up the brassy sounds of the Memorial Day parade, bought some sunglasses, boarded the train back up north, returned something at the Container Store which conveniently was having a sale on travel items, bought the perfect purse for my trip to Germany, dropped by the pet store and picked up some worms for Epoch, and walked home.
4:00 am - 5:00 pm
When I got home, It was hard to accept that it was officially still the afternoon. It was light outside, although my body passionately disagreed. I put my dinner in the oven and actually sat down for a while. I considered finishing the nap that I had started on the bus, but I resisted. I'm not very good at taking short naps on a regular day, so apart of me knew once my head hit the pillow, I would be down for the count. Once again, I sat at the table and ate a lovely dinner of Salmon, Couscous, and a garden salad. It's amazing how healthy you can eat when you're not constantly on the go.
5:00 pm to 6:30 pm
My energy dwindling, but my goodwill strong, I once again emerged from my apartment and hauled some clothes down to the Salvation Army. This process of lugging large bags onto the bus is a tiring process all by itself. The fact that I had been up for 13 hours and my body considered it to be 9 o'clock at night, made the trip that much more fun. To reward myself for being so charitable, I stopped by my favorite candy shop and let two scoops of Elephant Stampede and Mint Chip accompany me home.
6:30 pm - 10:00 pm
I have trouble remembering the next few hours. The evidence suggests that I worked on my blog. Surprisingly, the entry actually makes sense. I do remember attempting some German but my mind barely computed die Worte, so basically, I relaxed with some TV because I could do nothing else.
When my head hit the pillow, I was surprised to find that I still felt like there there wasn't enough time in the day to get everything done. It also occurred to me that maybe I had spent this day all wrong. Maybe I should have used my 19 hours to achieve something more exciting, like taking some sort of road trip, or having a day of leisurely fun. Then I thought of Cathy, the past roommate of mine who suggested this flavor. When we lived together, Cathy was always the first to rise. While I ripped like a tornado through the house, Cathy calmly started her day, the right way. For her, it wasn't about fun, it was about seizing the day and accomplishing everything she wanted to.
Before drifting off into the deepest, most satisfying, sleeps I've had since college, I concluded that my day truly had been seized.
Cathy would have been proud.
1 comments:
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